oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I want a musical about memes.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
