problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
