I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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