so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
