I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
