I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
