Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
