I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
