Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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