I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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