My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Randomize
