so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Randomize
