This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Operation Purity has been aborted
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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