hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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