I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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