She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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