Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Everyone says I win the strip club
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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