You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i just google imaged poop.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
