I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
and you fell through a lawn chair
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
