you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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