Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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