she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
