Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
