laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
