I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
