my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize