i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
