dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I smell like Dick and happiness
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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