i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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