I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
