the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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