Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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