We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Im part way to drunk.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
