When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
