I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Randomize
