K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
