Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
