In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
