Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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