Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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