I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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