You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
