I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
