Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
