it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
