i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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