I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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