It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
