do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
