Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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