i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
