i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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