I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
