I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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