woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize