All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
