sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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