he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize