that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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