there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
