That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
