I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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