OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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