I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
