Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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