The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
