But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
