i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
