It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
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